Revolution!

To all the women out there:

Some of us believe that we have to be this and that to be happy.

Some of us believe that we have to be loved by others to be a worthwile person.

Some of us believe that we have to change ourselves to be loved.

Some of us believe that we have to be beautiful, skinny, happy, funny, successful.

Or we believe that we have to be a caring person, a good mother, a good wife, a good girlfriend, a good daughter, a good grandmother.

In relationships we believe that we have to know our partners wishes before they know them. We believe we have to do the first step. We believe we are responsible for keeping the relationship alive. If we are treated lovelessly, we blame ourselves. I was not this and that enough to be loved. We believe that we have to try better to deserve better treatment. We always try to get better. We are never good enough.

We dream about the time when we are a better person: More beautiful, skinny, hairless, with prettier clothes and shoes which are not made for walking, or smarter, more intelligent, we try to stop telling dirty jokes because it's not girlish enough. Swearing is great fun, but girls don't do that. And they never fart. Before they say something wrong, they better keep their mouth shut. A good girl is shy and quiet.

We manage to get still a little bit more adapted to the wishes of whoever - no matter if it's our parents or our friends or our partner. We always try to adapt. It's our great talent. We are so good in adapting that we forget about our own wishes.

Wouldn't it be great to know who we are when we forget about what others think about us?

Lean back and relax, girls. Here are good news for you:

We don't need to be beautiful to enjoy ourselves!

We don't need to be beautiful to enjoy reading a good book.

We don't need to be skinny to unfold our creative talents.

We don't have to wear the most pretty clothes to do our best in a job or project we really like.

We don't need to be the most loveable person in the world to sit at the open window and enjoy the smell of the rain.

We don't need to be someone else to prepare and enjoy a wonderful meal just for ourselves.

If someone doesn't love us as we are, they simply don't love us, but it doesn't matter! It is not our mistake. It's theirs!

If we don't fit into society, it's not us who is wrong. It's society - full of cruel, stupid, oppressing rules for women - and even for men.

Everyone of us is beautiful and perfect. It's our strength that makes us beautiful. Please don't let anyone make yourself weak. Protect yourselves from abusive boyfriends and mothers who must be obeyed. It's your life. Everyone of us has special talents inside - just waiting to be unfolded. Everyone has a complete wonderful life story inside. I see it. Today I see all the possibilities. For all of us.

At the moment I'm reading a book about "wild women". It is called "Women who run with the wolves" (Myths and stories of the wild woman archetype) by Clarissa Pinkola-Estes. Until now I find it inspiring. The friend who recommended it to me is a normal woman - with the difference that she doesn't care for rules about how a woman should be. She has a mustache and she never shaves her legs or armpits. She's a gardener on an organic farm. She comes from work with her old bicycle, with a dirty shirt, a silly sun shade and a pleased smile. She never cares if she's cool. She just does what's right for her.

What this article means for me is something you probably can't just experience by reading. You have to discover it by yourself. You have to feel the power of your wild side - of what's inside you when you - just for a moment - stop to live for other persons. Forget all the rules you have ever heard and live for yourself. Just for a minute, an hour, a day. Try what you can enjoy when you accept yourself as what you are, uncaged from all the rules and wishes that don't belong to you:

A woman, full of special powers. You.

> I wrote this essay in 2007, in a time when I wasn't very happy.

I found myself constantly ruminating about how wrong I was and how much I wasn't how I should be. It was relieving to realize that there are still some good things left when we don't play our roles perfectly – that there is maybe something completely new and powerful to discover when we decide to stop playing any role.

For me, this is one of the most important learning experiences of life: There is no "should".

> You can copy this to share it with the women around you.